LET'S LIVE WITHOUT HARMING! LET'S NOT TELL OTHERS HOW THEY SHOULD FEEL

HAPPY HOLIDAYS THAT ARE AUTHENTIC FOR YOU!

We wish you truly pleasant days for you and your loved ones. To achieve this, let us embrace the positive aspects of Christmas that we desire, such as the opportunity to reunite with family or the excitement and joy that Santa Claus, gifts, etc., bring to children. However, let us also free ourselves, if deemed appropriate, from the burden of social expectations, advertising, the film industry, etc., regarding what we should do with our lives during this period, and especially how we should feel, such as:

• During Christmas, one must be very cheerful and surrounded by love and all the family.

• At the end of the year, if you are young, you should go out and party and have fun as if there were no tomorrow. It has to be an epic spree like never before.

• We must be very empathetic in certain cases, such as with the relatives of a deceased person, but not in others, such as with non-human animals or with someone who has certain illnesses, like HIV.

• It is necessary to always love and never hate.

• You should not complain about tiredness, pain, or discomfort.

• One should not feel sexual or romantic attraction towards someone one “should not.”

All of this can lead to feelings of not being understood, of overwhelm, or even of injustice. And even to internal repression and pretense, further increasing the masks we already wear, such as that of sanctimoniousness… read more.

Forcing someone to feel something different, and especially repressing emotions, although sometimes well-intentioned, is not only useless but can increase their discomfort. It can even generate both physical and mental illnesses, as various medical and psychological studies have discovered, such as those conducted at Harvard, Stanford, or Berkeley.

Emotions have a purpose

The truth is that each emotion, even the less pleasant ones, serves a function. Sadness, for example, invites us to reflect and heal; indignation drives us to act in the face of injustice; and fatigue reminds us that it is wise to rest. Invalidating or repressing them is to ignore our human nature.

From a psychological point of view, it is healthy to feel and express them. Therefore, it is good to validate and respect emotions, unless they involve hatred, contempt, or aggression towards an innocent person. This does not mean always acting impulsively according to what we feel, but rather recognizing them as legitimate and necessary as a first step to managing them.

It is even advisable to do so with those that are less favorably viewed. For example, Yale University psychology professor Paul Bloom states that kindness requires a certain degree of anger and revenge. This is because feeling anger in the face of true injustice and expressing it can be the first step towards positive change.

It is natural to feel intense emotions such as rage at abuse or rejection of injustice. These emotions can be useful in pointing out what is unacceptable and motivating us to act. Recognizing and managing them constructively is an important step for our emotional well-being and for fostering positive change.  

And if the damages have not been repaired, we have the right to forgive but also not to, no matter how much the latter may make us feel bad and harm our health.

Is it possible to express our intense emotions genuinely without this being seen as inappropriate? Perhaps, in certain contexts, raising one’s voice or showing indignation can be a legitimate way to communicate our stance on unjust situations.

And then there is the issue of love. Is it really advisable to pressure ourselves to feel affection for everyone, even those we do not know or who have hurt us? While this idea can be noble, it is also utopian for most. And it creates a conflict between social norms and one’s own feelings, leading to inner tension and social hypocrisy.

Instead of imposing love, we can focus on something more achievable: not harming others. By building relationships based on respect and the absence of harm, affection arises naturally. Because respect + coexistence = love.

Read LET’S NOT HARM ANYONE

We even have the right to love our pets as if they were our children, no matter how much some may consider it a deviation from the “appropriate emotional canon”. In fact, science has discovered that this is natural and that the same brain circuits are activated in relationships with our companion animals as in parent-child relationships.

To conclude: the emotions we have or do not have at any given moment are a right and a fact.

LET’S GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO EXPERIENCE AND EXPRESS THEM!

During these holidays and always, allow yourself to feel. Whether it’s joy, sadness, calm, or enthusiasm, all your emotions have a legitimate place in your life. By respecting them in ourselves and in others, we not only free ourselves from masks but also build more genuine connections.

This holiday season, let us give ourselves authenticity and emotional freedom. Because in the end, the greatest gift we can give ourselves and offer to others is the possibility of being ourselves and living our own way, always without harming anyone.

Merry Christmas! May these holidays be as unique as you are.